Having seen the evolution of mind (Referring to my previous article) and the reasons why the mind is designed to think negatively, we can now shift our focus to the next step of understanding how to stop this negative thinking cycle? However, before we go there, it is important to understand that the negative thought is quite harmless when its first generated in the mind. Then how does it become harmful to us, you may ask?
To understand this, lets take a real life situation. Say, you are preparing for an important presentation for a new product launch and your mind asks you “What if someone asks a difficult question during the presentation?”, remember here the mind is just doing its job by thinking of what can go wrong, so that you can plan for contingencies. What follows this simple question is a conversation between you and your mind, called ‘Self-Talk’ and this can take two distinct paths:
Path To A Lucid Mind: Where the Self-Talk is constructive and focused on the end objective. The mental conversation goes something on the lines of, “What would the target audience want to know? “, “What is the story I am trying to tell?”, “What additional data I should keep handy for Q&A?” etc… At the end of this Self-Talk, we feel confident, given that we have got far more clarity of the end objective and approach. It also gives us a feeling that things are in control and hence we can focus on other things in your life.
Path To A Rambling Mind: Here the Self-Talk is ‘non constructive’ and focused on the initial negative thought. The mental conversation goes something on the lines of, “What If I can’t answer that question?”, “Will people think that I don’t know what I am doing?”, “What will my boss think?”, “Will this have an impact on my year end appraisal?” and so on…At the end of this conversation, we feel mentally tired because the mind is full of ‘non constructive’ thoughts and the end objective is nowhere in sight. We don’t have a sense of control which then leads to anxiety or stress and we feel trapped in the situation, unable to focus on anything else.
As you can see, the root cause of a “Lucid” OR a “Rambling” mind, is our own Self Talk and not the situation we are in. Whether to have a “Constructive” Self-Talk or a “Non-constructive” Self-Talk, is completely our own choice, but then why do we struggle to make the right choice? Well, the answer lies in the ability to take a step back when faced with difficult situation, rather than getting caught up in the flow of thoughts. You don’t have to be gifted with this ability, the mind can be trained to consciously slow down the thoughts, so that you can take a step back from time to time and channelize your Self-Talk to move towards Lucid Mind.
One way to achieve mastery over this Self-Talk is to do mindfulness exercises on a regular basis. Like any other muscle in the body, the mind also needs exercise to keep itself healthy and prime, to make the right choices. There are many existing as well as evolving tools that teach you mindfulness exercises. Explore and try few of them to see which one resonates with you. In fact, as part of this article I had written about two tools which I found interesting, but then my editor (😉) said “Why do you want to limit everyone’s choices? You tried few before you settled on what works for you, so let everyone enjoy the same journey and find the best path for themselves”. It’s actually true that the initial few exercises I tried didn’t work for me (e.g. breathing exercises, meditation with music etc.) . I started thinking, maybe I am not cut out for this, however, as I explored a few more, listening to different Shifus (via YouTube) , suddenly one of them clicked and now I do that every single day. If you are going through a similar mental block, explore more and try different exercises, don’t let your ‘Self-Talk’ deviate you and I am confident you will find something that will work for you.
In conclusion, the path to a healthy mind is a three-step process
1. Take a step back and observe your ‘Self-Talk’
2. Identify the state of mind (i.e. Lucid or Rambling)
3. Focus the ‘Self-Talk’ towards the Lucid mind
And the mindfulness exercises are the tools which help to achieve a healthy mind. So, Go ahead and explore what works for you … Reclaim control over those thoughts and show your mind that you are the Boss, and your mind is nothing but a wonderful tool to help you experience the exuberance called “LIFE”.
Until We Meet Again ….
- The Curious Mind
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